July is Bereaved Parents Month
Our hearts are with Texas flood victims and their families.
Trigger Warning: Child Loss, Traumatic Child Loss, Natural Disaster
July is Bereaved Parents Month. Originally, I was planning to write about the weight of this month for me personally and why I think it is important we acknowledge Bereaved Parents Month, despite it being a challenging month. Instead, my heart is heavy for those in Kerr County, Texas. I have taken a few days to process what has occurred and how it impacts me, as a fellow loss Mama.
For those who try to live under a rock, as I do most of the time, and do not watch the news regularly, let me offer my brief summary of what has occurred to the best of my understanding.
On Thursday July 3rd, 2025, the National Weather Service in Texas issued a warning regarding possible heavy rain and localized flooding. In the early morning hours of July 4th, that rain, worsened by the geography of the area, caused the Guadalupe River to flood to historic levels. Most news reports state that the Guadalupe River rose 26 feet in just 45 minutes. For comparison, most 2 story homes are 20-25 feet tall.
As a loss Mama, the story that has weighed on my heart all week is of Camp Mystic - an all-girls Christian sleepaway camp located on the banks of the river that has been in operation for 99 years. Camp Mystic lost at least 27 campers and counselors to the flood, with some girls still unaccounted for.
As a loss Mama, my heart is devastated for these families and the community as a whole. These families planned, and likely saved, to ensure their daughters could get a positive summer camp experience. These families likely felt confident in the staff, the camp, and the safety of their daughters. These families woke up on July 4th to find those hopes crashing down. Stories of child loss such as this in the news can often be triggering for loss parents. As a Loss Mama, I have spent the past few days working through my own feelings related to my own loss and this public tragedy. Despite the passage of time, the news of what occurred at this summer camp was enough to bring me back to those fresh moments following my own loss. The lonely feeling of experiencing something that so many people cannot imagine and would not dare to try, the helpless feeling of wondering if there is anything you could do to change the outcome, and the disbelief that this is now your real life. Unfortunately for these families, their grief is on public display.
What can we do?
Support One Another
Support organizations that help with disaster and emergency response in areas like Kerr County.
Check on those you know who have lost a child, regardless of how or when they experienced their loss.
How do we cope with anxiety related to natural disasters?
I also want to include that for loss parents, events like this can be triggering of generalized anxiety. As a mom who also has a living child who attends a local summer camp, I would be lying if I pretended that I did not have some increased anxiety about leaving my daughter at camp this week. Events such as this can remind us that so much is outside of our control, which can cause increased anxiety, irritability, anger, and frustration. Anxiety serves a purpose - to mentally and physically prepare us for an issue or emergency. Anxiety becomes an issue when the emotional or physical reactions are not proportionate to the perceived threat. What is important, is that we find healthy, appropriate ways to cope with our increased anxiety during these times. Below are some ways in which we can cope with anxiety related to natural disasters.
When our anxiety becomes out of proportion with the perceived threat, it can be challenging. One way that we can cope with this is to challenge our thoughts. Below is my example of ways I challenged these thoughts.
As a mom who dropped her child at summer camp on Monday with a heavy heart, I did the following to cope with my anxiety.
Challenge the thoughts
Ask yourself "Is this logical?" - The floods in Texas were a result of so many variables - geography, shallow river beds, drought conditions, and a weather system that stalled. How are these variables different from my own environment? Based on my knowledge and understanding, what is the likelihood this event could have occurred in my own environment? While flooding is a risk on Long Island where I live, flash flooding such as what was seen in Texas is not likely due to the differences in geography and local weather conditions. This is not to say flash flooding never occurs here, but rather to point out that the likelihood of flash flooding to that magnitude is unlikely, especially without a major weather system, such as a hurricane or tropical storm.
Become educated
In New York State (as in many other states), summer camps are regulated by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services (OCFS). Summer camps are required to be inspected twice yearly, at least once prior to opening and once while in operation. Summer camps are required to have policies and procedures in place to address emergency situations and staff are required to be trained on these procedures.
Without knowing this information, it could be easy to become worried about what would happen at my child's camp in an emergency. Knowing these regulations can help to provide some peace of mind.
If I still found myself to be anxious regarding the idea of an emergency at camp, I could also speak directly to the camp director/supervisor to request they review these policies and procedures with me. Knowledge is power.
Ask for Help
Share with a trusted friend, loved one or professional your worries or concerns. When we share our worries, we can receive support to help lessen them. I have shared with a few people this week my thoughts and feelings related to this devastating event and its impact. Having people who you can count on to listen, non-judgmentally, is essential to our well-being.
Sending love, strength, and support your way,
Ashley